Brett Cooper — Kristi Noem's Husband Has Very Large Honkers

Guys, today's episode might just take the cake for the most outrageous yet also devastating story of the show thus far. Maybe even more out of pocket than the quadruple amputee murderer. Because yesterday, the news broke that Kristi Noem's husband is a cross-dresser with a big booby fetish. Big boobs. What? And yes, you heard that correctly. I mean, I wish you could have seen my face when I opened up X and I was accosted with these photos.

Like, I could not believe it was real. I thought for sure it had to be AI. I was like, this is like some kind of blackmail scam. This is not real. Just because it is so weird. And yet, unfortunately, it is. So, without further ado, please hide your kids, cover their eyes, because everyone needs to meet Brian Noem. And here he is, big boobies included. Now, right from the jump, we need to acknowledge that yes, this is an absolutely insane story, but it is also incredibly sad.

And yet, as we are watching this marriage fall apart in front of us, I feel like nobody should really be surprised. Now, before we dive into this story, I want to thank you guys all for being here. Thank you so much for subscribing and ringing that notification bell and leaving likes on all the videos. It helps us out so much, and I'm so grateful to have built this amazing community with you guys. So, thank you so much for watching.

I'm going to be doing some more live shows, by the way. So, if you want to get tickets for those, everything will be at breadcoper.com, which is also where you can be redirected to Cooper Confidential behind-the-scenes content. All right, diving into this story now. So, I mean, I just don't even know where to start. All of this information came out after the Daily Mail obtained hundreds of messages between him and various women within the bimbofication scene.

Excuse me. What the What the did you just say? Bimbofication. I did not know that that was a scene. I still really don't want to know. I think I know as much as I would like TO KNOW, BUT HERE we are. We are dealing with this together. So, the headline from the Daily Mail reads, "Secret double life of Kristi Noem's cross-dressing husband, Byron." Oh my god, I keep saying Byron. It's Brian. This poor man, like, I'm telling his like shameful story and I can't even pronounce his name correctly.

It's not Byron or Bri- It's Brian. Cross-dressing husband Bryan. The pouty, busty bimbo photos and the trove of explicit messages. Now, before I read some excerpts to you, I just want to give props to this author for the top-tier writing because here is how the article started. Kristi Noem's husband is today revealed as a secret cross-dresser who dons gigantic fake breasts and pink hot pants to chat with online fetish models.

While his wife is operating at the highest echelons of government, handling matters of national security in her role as DHS Secretary, Bryan Noem, 56, has been dressing up and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty. And guys, apparently, it's not just that he himself likes wearing the gigantic boobies, as you guys saw, but apparently, he also likes looking at them. Like just across the board, this man is a mega fan of mega big boobies.

Boobies. This is Big Booby Bryan that we are dealing with today. Somebody commented and said, "You're laughing? Kristi Noem just got brutally chest mogged by her husband and you're laughing?" I had to include it. I mean, like literally, look at them. It is shocking. I also just have to say, this photo is a work of art. This is a real photo from the Daily Mail investigation. That is Bryan. He's holding up the knockers.

Meanwhile, their dog, who has not been shot by Kristi Noem yet, is peering at him from within the closet. Every part of this is just wild. Anyway, moving on back into the story, this man, Bryan, has sent over $25,000 in digital payments to the woman that he was chatting with online. And in the messages, they found references to custom-made XXL implants that can hold more than 3,000 cubic centimeters of saline per breast, far greater than surgeons typically recommend.

Well, thank goodness cuz it's not actually being put inside of him. He's just wearing them. Anyway, it's called bimbo-fication. People who modify their body to look like a doll, the Barbie look. His kink is for huge, huge, ridiculous boobs. Now again, parents, let's say we just have some discretion, maybe remove any, you know, vulnerable ears that are in the room because one of these conversations reads, "How are your boobs?"

he asks her. "Would you ever go bigger?" He asks. The model sent him an array of topless selfies and lingerie shots. Jason, that's who he went by, apparently felt relaxed enough to reciprocate with photos of himself wearing skimpy outfits and lopsided DIY breasts. "You turned me into a girl," he said. "SHOULD I PUT ON LEGGINGS?" NO! NO, BRIAN. NO, big booby Brian. We don't want to see you in leggings, please. A PayPal account belonging to Jason Jackson sent the woman regular deposits specifically between $500 and $1,000.

She says he openly admitted to having a wife and a family. He'd say, "I love my wife and I want to get better." And then he disappear, come back, and start again, the woman added. Over time, the models began to figure out the real identity of their shadowy benefactor. A second woman told the Daily Mail that she pocket dialed Jason and was astonished to hear a voicemail greeting saying, "Noam Insurance, leave a message."

A quick Google search pulled up photos of Kristy and Brian Noam. "I was completely shocked. I said, 'Why are you doing this? I didn't think that hot guys did this,'" the woman said. He said he didn't care. "I thought, 'You should care. Your wife could lose everything she's ever worked for.'" A second woman had also read about Kristy's alleged affair with Lewandowski, which we are going to get into. I asked him about it, she said, and his response was, "I know there's nothing I can do about it."

I mean, these two conversations, the reason why I wanted to read them is because this is incredibly sad. Yes, obviously this whole thing is weird and perverse. It's very porn brained of him to be doing this and have this fetish. And by the way, over on Blue Sky, the people's main concern is that we're not like king shaming him. Like, I'm sorry, no. I will be king shaming. This requires shame. very much. Anyway, that was just an aside about Blue Sky.

But anyway, the point I'm trying to make is yes, it is weird. Yes, it is odd. But this is also a marriage that is falling apart. This is a man who allegedly knew what he was doing was wrong and weird and tried to be better. It's also a man who allegedly knew that his boss babe wife was allegedly having an affair with her top aide, Corey Lewandowski. And if you didn't know that little rumor about Kristy Noem, well, now you do.

And allegedly, among many other things, it is a a reason why she was removed from her DHS post last month. And according to the Daily Mail and Yahoo, their affair is Washington, D.C.'s worst-kept secret. One article said that the pair are practically inseparable and have been spotted grinding on each other at parties and leaving each other's apartments despite the fact that they are both married to other people. The arrangement has become such a mega meme that the DHS secretary was actually mocked for taking her husband to a black-tie White House event over the weekend instead of Lewandowski.

That's how you know it's bad when people are like, "Huh, you're actually showing up with your actual husband?" That's I mean, this is like it's just ridiculous. I also want to say that I will never forgive Aaron Sorkin and The West Wing for trying to convince me, for brainwashing me into thinking that the White House, being president, the administration is any kind of serious business with any kind of class and integrity.

Like, no, we are watching an episode of Veep unfold. I feel like I say that at least twice a month, but seriously. And I blame Aaron Sorkin cuz I remember watching The West Wing when I was like 15 years old and was like, "Oh, the prestige of being president, of being in the White House." Meanwhile, you have 50-year-old married couples grinding on each other at White House events. You freaks. Anyway, moving on. To continue this weird story, there was also blanketgate that happened between Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski where Lewandowski literally fired a Coast Guard pilot after he misplaced Kristi Noem's favorite blanket on one of their planes.

But then they actually rehired him just moments later because there was nobody else available to fly them home. People have speculated about whether it was really about a blanket or whether the pilot had seen something. People have also said that it was actually about a bag that was left on the plane that had some incriminating information in it about Kristi Noem. I don't know. If it was just about a blanket, it seems weird for your top aide, your advisor, your chief of staff to be angry over your personal FAVORITE BLANKET.

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Anyway, back to the story. Between all of that drama and the glamour photo shoots, the cringe Home Depot ice TikToks, the $200 million ice commercial that apparently Trump did not know about and did not approve, it's no wonder the Christine O'Donnell was fired is essentially the point that I am trying to make. And so now, because of this new information about her family and her husband, people are wondering if this little secret was just another nail in the coffin for her removal.

Daily Mail wrote, "National security experts consulted by the Daily Mail say that his brazen behavior could have left the 54-year-old MAGA favorite who oversaw ISIS' aggressive crackdown until she was removed from her position on March 5th vulnerable to blackmail." Quote, "If a media organization can find this out, you can assure with a high degree of confidence that a hostile intelligence service knows this as well."

Which is completely reasonable. So maybe that was the motivation, I don't know. Or maybe it was this, somebody posted, "Breaking news, Kristi Noem is stepping away from politics to spend time motorboating her husband." Maybe that was the real reason why she stepped away. Anyway, sorry, moving on. Even if that is true, even if this is one of the reasons why she stepped down, I don't think that they would ever admit that.

And according to her and according to Trump, this was all a surprise, blindsiding to them. In a statement to the New York Post, representatives for Kristi Noem said, "Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this and they ask for privacy and prayers at this time." And guys, this is when I was really floored. Again, I still thought that these photos were AI-generated. I was like, "This is a bunch of mumbo jumbo, a bunch of gossip."

And then when an actual representative made a comment confirming all of it, I mean, it was just like all hell broke loose. Anyway, Trump also responded, he actually talked to the Daily Mail. He said he did not know about the photos and was surprised that the Noem family confirmed their authenticity. He said, "They confirmed it? Wow, well, I feel badly for the family if that is the case, that is too bad." he told the outlet.

"I haven't seen anything, I don't know anything about it, that's too bad, but I just know nothing about it." Wow. I didn't know that. I just You're telling me you're hearing about it for the first time? In my mind, when I heard that from Trump, I was like, he's definitely thinking, "Please God, I don't want to hear about her or her husband's silicone, their silicone-filled bodies ever again." Brian Grdeskip posted something that really puts things into a new light.

He said, "I mentioned on my podcast months ago that one of Trump's cabinet members was telling reporters off the record that her husband was gay. I didn't name Noem by name out of respect for privacy, but to say that she had no idea really flies in the face of what she was saying." So Ryan essentially just confirmed that she was going around telling people that her husband WAS GAY. LIKE, HOW MUCH MORE CAN WE TAKE? IT'S LIKE EVERY DAY IT'S a new thing.

Remove her. Like, I know that you put her in a new position. Remove her from that as well. Send her, her horse, her buffalo back to South Dakota to figure out her marriage. Just get her out of the administration. This is too much to handle. Now, all jokes aside, like I said at the beginning, like the main point that I do want to make throughout this episode is that this whole thing is just incredibly sad. And I can see it from plenty of different angles.

Like, I wrote down a couple thoughts that I had. Like, from one POV, like maybe he has these weird, you know, sex kinks, these weird fetishes. Sure, but there is a chance that this all was propelled by the fact that his wife was allegedly having an affair off in DC, so he needed something to occupy his time. I don't know. Or maybe she was cheating on him because he was actually gay. And maybe they were not actually cheating, but they just had some kind of open arrangement cuz she was telling that to reporters.

I don't know. Or maybe, and this is actually my first thought, but you know, you have this husband and he's back at home in South Dakota. He's running his insurance business. He's running her family's farm that he took over after her father died. Meanwhile, his high school sweetheart, the mother of his children, you know, jet sets off to Washington DC. She gets the mega Mar-a-Lago makeover with the silicone and the Botox and all this stuff.

She starts sleeping with a staffer, allegedly. Allegedly, she's sleeping with a staffer. She starts living these like boss babe dreams without him. And he's just left in the dust. And none of that absolves either of them from any kind of responsibility and none of that is worth celebrating, but I just do think that it provides a little bit of nuance, maybe if any of that is accurate. I don't think that this is totally a black and white situation.

And more than anything, I genuinely feel for their daughters and their grandchildren who are now having to publicly cope with their parents' mess. And while many people online are just too stunned to speak, and I think they're trying to take all of this in, there are people who are defending Kristi Noem. Like this guy said, I feel sorry for Kristi Noem. She isn't the one allegedly putting balloons under her shirt. To be blunt, she's tried to help her country.

She met her husband in high school. He helped run her family's farm after her dad died tragically. She's been trashed over the Corey allegations when When after man gets a pass. The accusations against her husband are just horrible. I consider her a victim of this. The one thing that I would say here is that they are not accusations against her husband. I mean, we have the text messages, we have the photos. Unless in some insane turn of events, they do, you know, come out to be AI.

I have no idea, but these are not accusations. Like, it is unfortunately an investigation. But, I do understand where that commentary is coming from. Now, all of that being said, the devastating aspects of this all aside, that has not stopped the internet from internetting, and the memes have been going crazy. Like, somebody posted, "Literally my right now, like what the heck? That was me logging on to X again." Avert your eyes if you venture out of that social media platform, that's all I'm saying.

Now, my personal favorite reaction was people pulling this clip from the last season of White Lotus. If you've watched White Lotus, you might know what I'm about to show you, but just watch. >> Baby, what I really want is to be one of these Asian girls. Really? You know? Not Not really. Not really. No, I don't really know. Like, that scene, which was about cross-dressing fetishes, it was one of the most insanely uncomfortable, brilliant moments from a TV show last year, probably the entire year.

Like, we were watching that scene, gripping the edges of our seats, like, "Oh, this is so weird and so uncomfortable." And who knew that just months later it was going to become so relevant? Unfortunately so. Now, another favorite response of mine was from my favorite show, Arrested Development, and this person posted this. He said, "Brian Noem walking in on Kristy and Corey Lewandowski." It's just like so perfect. It's devastating, but it's perfect.

I mean, truly, I don't know if anything could top that one. Well, actually, maybe what can top it is the fact that it was allegedly an illegal immigrant who outed Brian Noem. Like, sorry, folks, but apparently you did not need to be worried about blackmail from, say, foreign governments. You should have been focused on the immigrant sex workers and what they have on members of our government or their spouses. Now, according to the Daily Beast, Axios reporter Mark Caputo revealed that he had been given a tip last month about Brian Kemp's busty bimbo alter ego before the Daily Mail reported on his cross-dressing habits on Tuesday.

He said, "Yeah, I got a weird lead. A source texted me on February 13th. They said an immigrant sex worker, possibly in the country illegally, wanted to go public about Noem's husband using her services online. It was vengeance for DHS's immigration enforcement." I mean, guys, like that is just the icing on the cake. And I just have to say, I don't really want to know. Maybe I do want to know. What other immigrant sex workers have on members of government?

Like if we aren't really going to get the rest of the Epstein files, if we aren't going to see arrest or accountability, maybe this is how we make things happen. Now, all of that aside, I I don't even know what else to say. The story is so insane. Like unfortunately, this entire thing ending with the illegal immigrant sex worker being the one to turn him in, like it's poetic. It's unfortunately better than anything Hollywood could have ever concocted in their brains.

And so, I think the one thing that I can say and end this on is I think the best thing for our country the America first thing, the positive thing for our country would be for everyone involved to retreat, to leave their jobs, to take some time off, and get their own homes and family in order, and leave us out of it. But if they don't leave us out of it, don't worry, I'll be back with another episode. Big news. We were driving back from church, and we looked over, and there was a hut full of piglets.

My mom wants you to have an aesthetically pleasing farm vlog, so you are going to have one.