Brett Cooper — Should Girl Dads Be Allowed in the Women's Restroom?

Brett Cooper in "Should Girl Dads Be Allowed in the Women's Restroom?". Full transcript below, with the movement's reading and the gaps we could not close.

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Transcript

I'm standing in the doorway of the ladies' bathroom. Okay? My wife There is a man with his two little girls using the women's bathroom. >> He's washing his hands, baby. >> He is. He's washing his hands with his daughters right now. He is leaving it. >> So, that video of an altercation that took place in a QuickTrip women's restroom has now gone viral. And it's sparked an entire social media debate about, you guessed it, men in women's restrooms.

So, in order to figure out who was in the right in this scenario, we need to think through the oppression Olympics and figure out who actually should be prioritized in this situation. And unfortunately for the internet, it is not as black and white as it seems. Now, before we dive into this story, make sure that you like the video if you enjoyed it. Subscribe to the channel if you have not already. Join the conversation in the comments below.

And if you want to stay up-to-date on every single video that we upload here on the channel, make sure to ring that notification bell. All right, now guys, I need to be honest because up until this morning, I was not sure if this was the video that I was going to film today. Because this story came across my feed and I just really did not know how I felt about it. And I saw everybody screaming at each other online trying to prove all their points.

I was like, I don't want to just add to this anger if I'm not really sure yet. I want to be able to take a second and think about it. And I'm glad that I did because, like I said in the introduction, it's not a black and white situation. Like I had an immediate gut reaction upon watching this video and then immediately I realized that that gut reaction might go against the other beliefs that I hold and it felt contradictory and I got stressed.

I was like, "Ah, maybe I don't want to contribute TO THIS CONVERSATION." BUT then I realized that is probably the exact reason that I should be doing this episode so that we can work through it together. So, we are here and we are persevering. And I thought that maybe some of you guys would have seen this story and would also be trying to work through what you think about it. So, maybe we can just walk through all of the different commentary together and by the end of this video, maybe we will have come to a conclusion.

Anyway, so let's watch this video and then I'll break down exactly what happened. Just watch. >> My wife There is a man with his two little girls using the women's bathroom. >> He's washing his hands, baby. >> He is. He's washing his hands with his daughters right now. He is leaving them. All right, baby. She is waiting to use the restroom with her mother who is very ill >> Wash your hands. >> and who is on oxygen. >> That's okay.

Some men are just immature. >> And And he's refusing, he's taking his sweet time. >> I have two girls washing their hands. >> You You Let this lady This woman is a mom She's a woman. She can bring her daughters in here. She's a manager of the QT. >> I'm their dad. >> You can ask her. I understand. And you have no business bringing her into the women's bathroom. >> They're They're girls. They go to the women's bathroom.

>> As soon as he leaves the men's to the women's bathroom, I will. I'm standing in the doorway. He's taking his old sweet time. Hey, I got to play hard. This is ridiculous, man. I ain't comfortable. >> That's okay. Some men are just >> We've got the cross from the from the gray shirt. You can video me, okay? And you got to put your shirt on. >> on me? >> Yeah, well, stop videoing me. >> Hey, he just put his hands on me.

>> I touched you. I brushed you on the shirt. >> touching me. You put your put your hands on me. >> That's ridiculous. >> I got it on video. >> He's a white man. He's about 5'10. >> Tell them to get here soon. >> I know. She's trying to get into the women's bathroom and she can't. >> All right, so some of you guys might have already seen this story, but for those of you who have not, what was happening here is that the father of these two young girls was taking a road trip with them.

They were driving from Florida back home to Oklahoma and they stopped at a QuickTrip to get gas in Alabama and to let his daughters use the restroom. And so him being alone with his two young daughters, they looked to be, you know, 4 to 6 years old, he made the decision to go into the empty women's restroom at the QuickTrip instead of taking them in with him to the men's restroom. Now, after they were already in the restroom, a woman and her elderly mother went in.

They were surprised to see a man in the bathroom. They apparently left. They told the woman's husband, who then got a manager, and then that's what we see in the video. He is standing in the doorway on the phone with the police. He called the cops and is talking to them, berating the father, terrifying his little girls. And now, as you can see in the video, the manager is there in the red shirt. She ends up closing the door on the man saying, "I'm so sorry this is happening."

The father then leaves with his daughters after they finish washing their hands and drying their hands. Goes outside. The man is still on the phone and talking to the police saying, "You need to get here. You need to see this man." Pointing to his elderly mother-in-law saying, "She can't get in the bathroom." Even though they have already left. And he's giving all these excuses like, "My mother and my mother-in-law, she's so ill.

She's on oxygen, so she can't go in here with a man." I don't know why being on an oxygen tank means that you can't be around a father and his two young girls, but this man was just obviously very angry. Now, there are so many things to discuss in this video and we're going to go through the arguments, of course, but the most obvious just apparent transgression to me was this man terrifying two little girls who obviously had no idea what was going on.

Like, if you had a problem, you could have waited until the man left, taken it up with the dad. But, these two little girls are whimpering. They're crying. They're just trying to wash their hands and leave. And this man is yelling, berating their family, and calling the cops on them. Now, the dad obviously pulled out his phone and started recording the interaction. He then posted it and this video blew up. And so, now it seems like the entirety of X is debating who was in the right and what the dad should have done differently, if anything at all.

And every time I scroll and I look through these comment sections, I feel like I see a completely different, deeply held convicted belief. Just like, look at some of these posts. One guy said, "I'm not going to lie, if I had a daughter that was too young to use a public toilet by herself, I would take her to the men's with me. Just head straight to the cubicles rather than assuming it is okay for me to go into the women's toilet with her.

Obviously, a family restroom is the first choice, though." This whole thing really does go back to the man calling the police and saying that that and his entire family were uncomfortable, not wanting his wife to feel unsafe in the bathroom. And while a lot of people like that commenter are on his side and understand the situation, a lot of people disagree. Like one woman commented and said, "Absolutely do not take your daughter into a place where men are standing with their dicks out.

The only people outraged by this are men. It was another man who burst into a women's bathroom to harass that father doing right by his children." Somebody else said, "If I was a woman and walked into this man and his daughters, I would be standing in front of the door to let other women know that he was in there and would just be a couple of minutes. I would not be calling the cops to come and yell at him and make the little girls cry."

Now, the last comment I'll read here in this section is a woman saying, "It is obviously worse for a little girl to see adult male genitals at a men's room urinal than it is for a grown woman to have to wash their hands next to a dad with kids in the ladies' room. To insist otherwise is to put the comfort of grown women over the needs of little girls." And so, guys, what do you know? Because of the nature of this story, this led us right back to the debate of whether or not we should be letting trans people into women's bathroom.

And the core of the argument really is the same. The question is, whose safety are we really prioritizing? And so, a lot of people brought this up and to their credit, they wanted to be really consistent. They said, "You know, we do not want a man in a women's restroom ever. Period." And listen, I understand it. Like this person said, "Consent is not transferable. I do not consent to men entering female-only spaces at all.

I am married to a man who raised a daughter with no co-parent and managed to never violate women and girls' boundaries. It is not that difficult. Learn some respect." Now, obviously, as you guys know, I have been talking about these culture war issues for years now. I have been in the battle against men in women's restrooms. And so, on that subject, I am not going to stay silent, unlike my suppressor from Silencer Shop.

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No, because boundaries were being so abused. But, 4 years later, I do feel like we have evolved a little bit as a society. I feel like we've come a long way. I think a lot of people have come to their senses. They're a little bit less extreme. And so, I feel like we can actually start to have a more nuanced conversation about this because in my personal opinion, I believe that there is a difference between a, you know, one-off unique awkward situation that is all about helping a child versus opening the door for men to be in the bathroom all the time and all these private spaces with women.

I believe that there is a difference. Like one is a mental illness that was pushed by an ideology that was very open about wanting to oppress women's rights. And the other one is a father trying to help his daughters. There is a difference there. And so, maybe maybe we need to use some nuance. Maybe we need to have discernment on a case-by-case basis. For example, a mentally ill egotistical man using a Gold's Gym locker room making inappropriate comments at women, obviously, that should not be allowed.

A trans person undressing and exposing women and minors to her penis in the locker room of a spa, also not acceptable. But, a father with two young daughters with no wife or mother around walking into an empty women's bathroom so that his DAUGHTERS DO NOT HAVE TO RISK seeing a bunch of penises standing at a urinal. I'm sorry, but I do think that that is okay. And I do understand wanting to be consistent across the board, especially because in the past when we have given an inch, they've taken a mile.

So, maybe this is just, you know, too empathetic of me or too naive, however you want to say it. But, you know, maybe being more consistent would make things easier and more black and white. But, also, from my opinion where I'm sitting, the difference is between these two situations are really not that complex. It's really simple. I hate the fact that even though my gut reaction was that the father was, you know, totally in the right, because of how politicized and volatile things can be online, I immediately thought, "Oh, no, no, no.

I can't hold both of these opinions at once. So, I'm just not even going to talk about it." But, again, both situations are completely different and there is room for both. It just requires a little bit of nuance. Or maybe this. I thought that this comment was funny. This girl said, "My take on this is that every public restroom should be flanked by a pair of ancient mythical sphinxes. Be pure of heart and show no fear, or they will disintegrate you on the spot.

Like at that point, that really is what we need to get through this issue. Now, speaking on this specific situation, even though I feel like the dad was in the right doing what he did, I do think that there was a way that everyone could have handled things differently to maybe mitigate the obvious awkwardness of people walking in and seeing a man in a woman's restroom. Like first of all, what in the freaking Karen is going on with this old man yelling at two little girls and literally calling the cops on them and their father?

Like are there not more pressing matters to attend to? Like you really think the cops are going to care about a four and a six-year-old girl and their dad being in a empty empty until your wife walked in empty women's bathroom. Like genuinely, who are you helping by terrifying these innocent girls? They, even if you're angry at the dad, they did nothing wrong and yet they were the ones that were emotionally impacted the most.

If you had a genuine problem with this, if your wife had a genuine problem with this, you could have privately pulled the dad aside as he exited and said, "Hey, that wasn't cool. Could we talk through this? My wife was upset." He could have talked to the manager privately and informed her of the situation, had her go talk to him, had your wife and your mother-in-law literally WAIT FOR 2 MINUTES OUTSIDE while he finished washing his daughter's hands.

Like there were so many other options had the man just exhibited just a tiny bit of grace and more importantly a little bit of self-control. Now, secondly, talking to the dad again, even though I think he was in the right, could he have done things differently? Yes, he could have gone and gotten the manager and checked to make sure it was okay before he walked in there, had her go in there and make sure it was empty.

He could have asked the female manager to take his daughters if he was comfortable or in there with him before a different angry man barged into the bathroom. So, there are obviously other things that he could have done, but also it's life. These are things that happen. We don't do things perfectly and most people, like I would argue for this dad, are simply just trying to do their best and do right by their children.

All of that being said, the video was posted, went viral, the debate is going on, and then after the fact the dad made a video that also went viral and he shared what happened next from his perspective. >> What happened next is what I'll remember the most. The police officers came and talked to my girls and made sure that they felt safe and reassured them that there was no danger, that they were there to protect them.

And uh, you know, it's really going to put a good image of police officers for my girls growing up to know that they are there to protect them and to serve. You know, over the last few days I've received thousands of messages from moms, dads, grandparents, and caregivers caregivers who have been in similar situations. And um, this isn't really about one argument in a gas station. It's about the fact that girl dads and boy moms are often put in situations where there isn't a perfect answer.

Most parents aren't trying to make anyone uncomfortable. We're simply trying to take care of our children and keep them safe. >> Exactly. It is that simple. To the woman and her mother who walked in, I would also say that, you know, it is totally fine to enter a bathroom and obviously to be taken aback and surprised by seeing a man being in a women's restroom, but in this story, like the reason was very obvious for why he was there.

You could see his two daughters. He was not, like in other cases, trying to subvert womanhood or sexualize you or take away female privacy or safety. In fact, he was literally doing it for the sole purpose of female security, privacy, and safety for his daughters. And so, in the time that we are living in with all of the oppression Olympics going on, the age-old question is, who should be prioritized most in this situation?

Who is the most oppressed or vulnerable party that needs to be supported? And in my opinion, what I believe is the correct opinion, is that it is the children. Obviously, yes, across the board women's privacy, our rights, our security, it matters, but the other women in this story were adults. That's a really important fact. They are adults. Comparatively, just because of their age, they inherently have greater protections, hopefully greater understanding, and maybe maturity, although in this case, maybe they don't.

Like one person commented and said, "So, grown-ass women feel unsafe seeing a father with his daughter in the bathroom, but my tiny little daughter is supposed to feel safe in a smelly bathroom full of grown men making weird noises." I would also say with their penises out, knowing that she is the only girl in there. Exactly. Could not have said it better myself. And also, the other thing I would point out is that both of these individuals, these women, they are mothers.

And so, they should understand. They also had a man literally waiting in the gas station for them. A man that was literally willing TO CALL THE COPS on their behalf to protect them. They were okay in this situation. So, if we are choosing between the two, I am choosing the most vulnerable party, which is the little girls. And so, the conclusion that I have come to after, you know, doing this episode and muddling through the story over the course of today, is that because of that fact, that the little girls are the most vulnerable, supporting the dad actually fits right into my strongly-held beliefs rather than contradicting them.

Because I don't want men in women's bathrooms because I necessarily hate men or hate trans people, far from it. It is because I don't want biological men overtaking women's spaces and infringing upon their privacy and safety, especially, especially when it comes to places where minors might be. Young women. And especially when it is coming from a place of arrogance, dominance, and a desire to prove a point, which in the case of many of these viral stories, like the Gold's Gym locker room, the Planet Fitness locker rooms, the, you know, indecency in the Wi Spa in LA, that seemed like it was the end goal, to prove a point at the expense of women's comfort.

That is not what was happening here. Parents and dads, like they have it hard enough. I guarantee that he was standing in the QuickTrip looking at the two bathrooms going, "I don't REALLY KNOW WHAT I'M SUPPOSED to do. I I need to choose what's best for my children." I'm sure he also thought about the women in the bathroom, but he thought he was doing the right thing. And in my opinion, he handled it in the best way that he knew how.

And I'm sure that in the future, he will take extra steps to ensure everybody's safety and comfort, but Mr. Karen in this story was completely out of line. Extend some grace. Have some understanding. Assess the situation and see what is going on here before you lose your top. Now, the other thing I want to say, the last thing, is that Mr. Karen has also now been doxxed. I'm not going to put those photos or put his Facebook up here, but people have been looking at his Facebook and it turns out he is the father to four sons and no daughters.

So, that adds up. Now, before we dive into this story, make sure that you like this video if you enjoyed it. Leave a comment. Let me know your thoughts. Subscribe Oh my god. Now, before we dive into this story, make sure that you like the video if you It's one of those days, Max.

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