Brett Cooper — Nara Smith Was Never A Tradwife

Guys, I genuinely feel so bad for Nara Smith because of the just onslaught of attacks that she faces on a daily basis, and she repeatedly addresses these. She tries to clarify and be honest, be transparent about her life, her husband's life, but unfortunately, nobody cares, because she is simply a tool that people use in their culture war ideological fights. And unfortunately, nobody cares what she has to say because people love to hate. Now, from my own personal experience being online. I can tell you how exhausting it is, to have people constantly try to put labels on you, put you into a box, and then attack you for falling short of their perceived notions of you. It is just crazy. So today, on that note, I wanted to do a crash course on what TRAD actually means, because that is really at the root of this entire Narsmith debate. Now before we dive into this story, I want to thank you guys so much for being here. If you enjoyed this video, please leave alike and subscribe to the channel, and if you want to stay up to date on everything we're doing here on the Red Cooper show, make sure to ring that notification bell. All right, so the TLDR of the story is that last week Nara Smith went on caller daddy to address the accusations that she is a TRAD wife once and for all. Now, internet detractors are still not happy because they love to hate her because of the way, in my opinion, that she makes them feel inadequate, and to both left and the right. This is just a universal problem. Trad is a convenient term that people can use to express their own dissatisfaction, I think, in case you are being thrown right into the fire with the story and you have no idea who Nara Smith is and what I am talking about, let's just take a step back because the accusations of huge global influencer Nara Smith being a TRAD wife, and therefore being very dangerous and problematic, have been going on for about 3 years, since she 1st went viral, cooking in her kitchen, in her supermodel outfits, and people realized that at 22 years old, she was already a mom of two. Back in 2024, one journalist road that Nara Smith's stay at home shtick is actually conservatism in disguise. Oh, scary, scary, scary. Now, the article reads, the more I see other people, mostly young women themselves, idolize her life, the more I worry. Her internet popularity exists at the intersection of several problematic ideas, including the conservative glamorization of the domestic sphere and what feels like a sharp decline in media literacy. And that line is going to be, especially, especially relevant in just a few minutes. All right. So the other thing that I want to show you guys here is that it was not just the media and journalists, I say that in quotations, trying to paint her as the villain, because this is what 1000s upon 1000s of comments and conversations and TikTok video dissertations of her all said as well. For example, here are just a couple of tweets talking about her from back in 2024. One girl said, she's giving the Handmaid's Tale, good for her. That's always their go-to critique, obviously. Another person said, these videos feel like a 1950s lobotomy infomercial, and I'll tell you why, because she was speaking in a quiet, monotone voice as she cooked from scratch for her family. She dressed up really nicely. She is a model, that is her career, before she became an influencer. She wears these crazy designer outfits, and she makes wild things like the skittles and root beer from scratch. She'll say, my husband and I were craving a cinnamon roll as a late night snack. So I pulled out my sourdough starter. She goes through the entire process of this like 15 hour thing that she's making, but she condenses it down into 30 seconds and it's funny and it's satirical. We'll get into all of that, but that is what he is saying, is a lobotomy infomercial because it is a wife cooking for her family. Things just got worse, the more babies that she and her husband, Lucky, had. Here are the comments under her 3rd pregnancy announcement, which only happened last year. Somebody said breeding kink much, and another person said, he really just doesn't want her to work, huh? I guess the jealousy is just keeping her pregnant. And this comment is just so unreal. I'm like bashing my head against the wall. The entire reason that you know who she is, that you are commenting on her pregnancy announcement is because she does work. She works constantly. She is one of the biggest influencers on social media. She is churning out video after video, campaign after campaign. I mean, she's doing like bus, tour, fashion show, the whole thing. She's constantly working providing for her family, and your argument is that her husband keeps getting her pregnant so that she doesn't have to work. I mean, brain dead. The lack of media literacy, we're just going to keep going back to that. Anyway, after all of the 1000s of comments, the critiques, the slandering, I am not surprised that she finally had enough. And she did go on Jay Shetty's podcast last year, and she tried to address all of this. The thumbnail of their interview literally said, I am not a tried wife. And this is exactly what she said about the subject. They used me as this poster child of this like very traditional wife and I'm not. There's nothing truly traditional about us as a couple apart from maybe that we chose to have kids young and get married young, but apart from that. We split chores 50-50. There's things that Lucky does that I guess traditional men wouldn't do, like, do the dishes or get the kids dressed or do the hair or whatever it may be. And in that same interview, she also talks about the women who rip into her for the choice to have children. My favorite line and the entire thing is she's saying, you know, they're just mad that I'm not out at the clubs, that I chose to have children, that this is my priority, but that's my choice. And it is what makes me and my husband happy. So why are you ripping into me? I'm not telling you that you have to do that. I am simply just trying to do me, do what makes me happy, and that is being a wife and mother. That is all she's saying. After three years of all of these attacks. I think she is just like, please remove me from this discourse. Now, in response to that. I think, just for a fun experiment, maybe we should put ourselves in the mind of somebody with less than one brain cell. Now you watch that clip and you go, she didn't condemn conservatism enough. She's pushing values that don't align with mine. She makes me feel insecure. She won't change her way. She's not saying the right thing. All right, when you get down to the root. of why they hate her so much. Why, every little thing that she says and does is ripped into and critiqued and thrown back on her husband or her religion, whatever it is, it is because her choices and her happiness threaten their own. It's because she's not out there doing cocaine, and at the club, and writing articles about how she was having sex with all of these different random men while being freshly postpartum, and then Radiczakowski, I'm talking about you. But here's the thing, and this might be news to some people online, just like trying to take politics out of this because she rarely speaks on it if she ever has. I don't know what hers are. Taking politics out of it. There are liberal women who choose to get married young and have babies and who love their husbands. I know that's not usually what we see online. Shocker, I know, but to a subset of the angry liberal women online, that choice to do the more traditional thing by their liberal female counterparts is totally unacceptable, and it is even dangerous. For example, one woman commented under this video of Nara and said conservatism is going to kill us. Heartbreak. And so is choice feminism. Choice feminism. That is a woman's right to choose her own path for her life. That's going to kill us. Omen's right to say, maybe I don't want to be a girl boss. Maybe I don't want to have a corporate career. Maybe I do want to have a mom and I have the choice to do that because women's rights, that's going to kill us. Because, Tori, a woman did not choose what you think is the best thing for her life. Got it. Thanks so much. Glad we have established that. They genuinely want everyone to believe that having a family is the most oppressive, suppressing thing in the world, but it is not. Now my silencer from silencer shop, on the other hand, is suppressive. And if you're a gun owner who is not shot suppressed yet, I need you to fix that right now. I am not exaggerating when I say that using a suppressor completely changes the shooting experience. It makes it easier to control. There's less snappy. of a recoil. honestly, it just makes shooting so much more enjoyable, especially if you are a new or nervous shooter. Now, the process is made super easy with my friends over at silencer shop. You don't need to figure it out on your own. They walk you through everything. 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Head on over to souncershop.com slash cooper for a better, more comfortable shooting experience. Again, that is soundsershop.com slash Cooper. All right, now back to the story. And now that I have briefly summarized the last 3 years of Nara Smith Discourse, last week, we can really talk about the news now, she went on Call Her Daddy. And Alex Cooper asked her about this directly, and this was Nara's now viral response. You can tell that she is completely and utterly fed up. Just watch. So let's call it what it is. So people started to compare you to TradWife. And people were like, they kind of used me as the poster child for the TRADWife movement, which was very bizarre to me. Why was that bizarre to you? It was bizarre to me for a multitude of reasons, but let's, you know what? Let's Google what the definition of a TRAD wife is. Well, that's perfect. I'm actually going to ask you, what do you consider a TRAD wife? Well, I had to look up the term because I wasn't familiar with that, right? I didn't quite know what it means, but the fast answer is a TRAD wife is a woman who embraces or promotes a traditional model of marriage and family life where she typically prioritizes being a homemaker and a primary caregiver for kids, takes primary responsibility for cooking, cleaning, and managing the household, supports her husband's role as the primary breadwinner, often values traditional gender roles within marriage. So with that definition and those points, I'm none of that. And we can go through it point by point, I don't prioritize being a homemaker, I'm a working mom. Like, I am out in LA. I travel a lot. I, sure, do I love cooking because it's my passion and because I kind of have to do it given my autoimmune, absolutely. But that's a passion of mine. It a hobby. It's not something that I need to be doing. For what, right? Right. Keep going. I like this. You know? This is good. Primary caregiver for my kids. No. My husband and I split it 50-50 Like when he works, I watch them when I work, he watches them and now, given everything that's been going on, we also have help. My mom's out. We have someone that helps us with the kids because it's just not doable for me to do it all. Now, one thing that I do want to add here, she's saying with everything that is going on, something that you guys might not know, or you might know if you follow her on social media. One of her children, her young daughter was diagnosed with cancer, I believe, late last year. They announced this only a couple of weeks ago. And so I think that's why she's going and doing interviews because they kept it really private, but she has had a lot going on in her life. And as this was happening and as she was talking about her daughter's experience with cancer. She is, I believe, in her mission now, but correct me, if I'm wrong, but I think that it was incredibly frustrating to her because again, these same people that have been attacking her for the last 3 years were still attacking her even when she was sharing that her daughter had just gone through this awful, awful thing, that her family had gone through this traumatic event. They were saying, you do all of this cooking, you cook everything from scratch, and it wouldn't protect your child. Like all, I mean, they were just so awful. And I'm watching this video and it does seem like a different Nara. If you go back and you watch her Jay Shetty interview, she's far more empathetic, she's trying to be more understanding of why people are trying to put her in these boxes. In this interview, even just in the way she's dressed, she is like, I am done. I'm done. I don't wanna be labeled by any of you. I'm done with your attacks. I'm done with the right trying to own me. I'm done with the left trying to disown me. All of you crazy people. She just seems so understandably bitter and done. So I just wanted to acknowledge that because as somebody who was a fan of her, I see that change and I just wanted to give the context of what's been going on in her personal life. anyway, I'll let her continue here. So that doesn't really work, right? Takes primary responsibility for cooking, cleaning and managing the household. Yeah, I like to cook. Okay? Sue me. I like to cook. My husband burns everything, apart from a good steak, so he'll do that. But I like cooking, so I'm doing it, household and cleaning. He does the dishes. I don't touch the dishes. There's no way you're going to see me washing and scrubbing the dishes. Also, he cleans our house because he grew up. He grew That's lucky. His mom was like very, very specific with cleaning to where they had like Saturday crew and like he has sisters, so like someone was in charge of the baseboards. Someone was in charge of the toilet. someone was in charge of this. So he's like very like specific with how things need to be cleaned. So he does it. perfect. So that doesn't make any sense. Supports the husband's role as the primary breadwinner. No, we both work. Like that, that doesn't make any sense. Like, I provide for our family. So I watched that clip. And even though I, as an internet person, know that the majority of people who have been our Smith detractors are coming from feminists on the left, I kind of took that conversation to be pointed at the people who want Nara to be a TRAD wife because they want her to embody their political values, i.e. the right, because you'll see that a lot online. They're like, oh, look, she's representing this traditionalism, she's upholding all these values. And just because of who Alex Hooper is, I feel like that might have been the direction that they were going in. Maybe I'm just projecting, maybe I'm sensitive in that way, but that's the read I got on it. And so because of that, when I logged onto Twitter, to see the response, I was shocked. Like, I was expecting to see all of the detractors, the chronically online women applauding her, saying, yes, like, clock, those nasty conservatives, sis, yes, you are not a trad wife. Yes. Like all these things. Like, I don't expect them to apologize, but I do expect them with their one brain cell to forget everything they said in the past and just applaud what she's saying now, but no, no. I mean, why did I even assume this? No, the ever all knowing, high and mighty, self-important, angry feminists are informing us that actually, she is still problematic. It's not how she perceives herself. It's not about what actually goes on in her marriage. It is the harmful stereotypes that they still believe she perpetrates. And even though she is literally saying, that's not me. I don't understand. They are saying, no, that is you, and you are still sinister and dangerous. One person commented and said, I find it particularly sinister that she is acting ignorant about her role in pushing TRADWife ideology all because she was intentionally playing up her lifestyle. I'm not a stay at home mom and I don't cook all the time, but that's not what you're selling, diva boss. She's selling cooking. She makes olive oil. She has baby, like she's a cooking influencer. Does that mean that it's just so, okay, sorry, we're going on. ahead of myself. It's just so incredibly dumb and frustrating. again, a lack of media literacy. Next comment reads, this is why we need to ban podcasts because a real journalist would have pushed back on her very obvious lies, brought up the Mormon stuff. She and her husband, I believe, are Mormon, and the connection to Ballerina Farm. Oh, the OG, the most dangerous of the dangerous. It's probably Ballerina Farm's husband pulling all the strings with Nara Smith's husband, whatever. Another person said, I feel like I'm watching in real time because people are trying to delude themselves into thinking that her content was so simple and innocent. Another person said, the question isn't exactly, is Nara Smith a Tradwife. The question about her content is, are her videos selling a traditional lifestyle? The answer is yes, through food and parenting video, she is selling a traditional lifestyle, a glamorous one, but yes, God forbid. God forbid we talk about cooking and parenting. That is dangerous. Now the last one I'm going to read is just particularly hilarious. This woman says, Nara Smith never called herself a TRAD wife. It was obviously just content. She responds and says, this woman drank raw milk while pregnant on camera last year. If you want to ignore the obvious right wing conservative dog whistles you can, but don't come for those that see through it. She drank raw milk. That must mean she is best friends with RFK Jr. and therefore MAGA Maha. I mean, you people need to get a grip. Do you realize that people were crunchy and drinking raw milk far before conservatives ever got a hold of that messaging? Before conservatives started caring about it. That was like actually an OG liberal issue. Maha, crunchy cooking food from scratch, fighting back against big food. You guys lost that issue. I'm sorry. Don't get angry at us. You lost it. So conservatives and independence stepped up to the plate. Don't be mad at us. Anyway, sorry, got off on a little tangent there. per usual. Anyway, there is just so much to respond to and all of these posts, but what feels most pressing and relevant to this video and what I want to share is the question of do you even know what a TRAD wife is. And my response is no. No, you don't. And guess what? Most people on the internet who talk about Tradwives could not actually point to one because Tradwife is a clickable buzzword. It is an aesthetic that drives from the cottage core trend that has now been sexualized and fetishized and turned into cheap political debates regarding a woman's place in our society. And I don't think, honestly, the people on the left or the right get it. They are so concerned with winning and fighting the culture war and determining where women should be in society that they're not actually stopping to just think about what it is and the fact that in our normal modern society, just people living in reality that most people are not going to fit into your perfect boxes, on the left or the right. The types of feminist leftists that are leaving these kinds of comments, think that any woman who gets married and has children and cooks for her family, maybe buys a hill house, sundress, wants to have chickens One day is some kind of dangerous extremist, being oppressed by her husband. Not to get all feminist on these idiots, but if that kind of content was made by a man, You would be calling him a chef, not a TRAD wife. So pot, meat kettle, 2 people can play at this game. Anyway, meanwhile, moving on from the left, the right then thinks that that aesthetic, the same one that has been sexualized and fetishized by men on the right, think that it actually upholds traditional values. But it does not, because again, it is a very superficial aesthetic to many people. For example, Katie Miller posted this about Nara this week. Nara Smith built her brand, standing in a kitchen in Scaparelli making skittles from scratch. She married Lucky Blue after 6 months and has 4 kids. She encouraged her audience to believe she was a Trad wife. Now that she has money and fame. She claims that she never was one, a laughable attempt at historical revisionism. Nara knows the joke. Being conservative doesn't pay but performing it gets massive views. Now, I understand the point that Katie Miller is trying to make here, but yes, Nora Smith is claiming that she was never a TRAD wife because she never was one. Like, I, as somebody who consumes her content, I didn't even see her trying to encourage her audience to do anything other than maybe convincing them that she actually cooked all of these meals and designer gowns. Like, and honestly, we have a real societal problem if people actually fell for that. Like, it was obviously a bit that she was doing for social media. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that this poor woman, she never gaslit you. She never lied to you. She never played into a political side and then abandoned it. It is actually just a case of all of you trying to fit her into this made up political cultural box so that you can further your own cultural and political ideology through her. You just want to use her. And you are angry and fed up that she is not allowing you to do so, that she is not going to play the role of a useful idiot for either side. Now, there was a great comment under one of these posts about Nara by our own Pacific Northwest vibes, a fan of the show, by the way. Hey, Caleb. And he said, I feel like Trad has become the rights version of Woke. Nobody has ever tried enough and what is and what isn't Trad can change on a daily basis, which means it is a trend, not a tradition. Correct. Caleb, you're spot on there. It has an ever-changing definition depending on what the internet needs that word to do in the moment. But Nara Smith, in the truest definition and sense of the word, is not Trad. I mean, she is a career model. She was a model before she happened to go viral on TikTok for her satirical over the top cooking videos, and then that became the primary focus of her career. She is now arguably more famous, and I'm sure her career is now financially more lucrative than that of her model husband, who is also extremely famous. She is constantly traveling. She is walking in fashion shows, attending fashion shows, doing campaigns, working with brands all while, having children, and churning out her daily videos on TikTok. So internet, I guess I'm asking you, is that a TRAD wife? And I guess I would ask more specifically to the political right. Is it also just an aesthetic for you? Knowing everything that you know about her and her marriage and her choices? Do you still want to say that she is actually Trad and she has betrayed you? No, then you are just coming clean and saying that it was always just a trend and an aesthetic for you. Like, do you even know what you were trying to defend or is it just a buzzword that you were hell bent on owning and controlling? Because that's what it seems like to me. And I feel like I shouldn't even need to say this, but the true TRAD wives in society are not on social media. They are not monetizing their lifestyle. They are not building careers off of it. They are too busy at home raising their 6 children, homeschooling them. They do not have time to cook homemade root beer in a designer gown and post it online for their 10000000, 30000000 bands. However many subscribers she has now. That is not what true TRAD wives are doing. And so if anybody out there genuinely thought that that was Nara Smith or that she was representing a true TRAD wife, I think it is time. I say this with genuine kindness, it is time for you to log off and touch grass, and maybe we should have a conversation about media and cultural literacy because it just doesn't make sense. Or maybe we should just finally get down to brass tacks and define tried for the entire internet because I am tired of the term being thrown around. Now, moving on from that. The other point that I think is important to make here, and this is more personal to me, is that Nara Smith being a good influence, a wholesome influence on the world, representing some aspects of tradition in her choices, and her being a quote unquote full TRAD wife, do not have to go hand in hand. For example, she can do some of the more traditional things, like having 3 kids before she turns 23, which is crazy in the modern world without actually being a true TRAD wife in the real sense of the word, not in the internet sense of the word. I mean, like, take me, for example. I think compared to a lot of women, my age, out in the world, I would consider myself significantly more traditional in many of my choices, especially in my marriage and my personal life, having a baby, and I champion all of those things. I love them. I love that part of my life. I think that it enriches my life. It fulfills me, it makes me so happy. But I still work. I'm still every day sitting in front of a camera, talking about these issues and stories with you. I work a lot. I bring in money for my family. And while I do work from home and I have a lot of flexibility, which I'm so grateful for, and I dedicate a lot of time to my son every single day, I am not fully and exclusively a stay at home mom. I am not a TRAD wife, even though I own a ton of Hillhouse cottage core undresses, and I raise pigs and make bread from scratch, and TBH jury is still out on the sourdough right now because guess what? I've been too busy working and doing my other full-time job, which is breastfeeding a baby to prioritize making sourdough and homemade bread, and also my husband is a great cook, so I don't have to do it all, especially when he is outside grilling up good ranch or steak. That makes our marriage even easier. 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Just go to good ranchers.com slash Brett and switch to American Meat delivered. anyway, back to the point. The reason why I'm inserting myself into this conversation right now is that, ironically, sort of on a smaller scale with what happens to Nara, both people on the left and the right like to assign me that label as well, and then they get angry when I obviously fall short of their TRAD wife expectations because I'm not one, but they perceive me as one. They desperately want me to be one, the right gets angry because I'm not trad enough because I continue working and I wear a strapless dress to a time 100 party. I go somewhere without my husband, whatever it is. And the left simultaneously gets mad at me for those exact same reasons, but it's because they desperately want me to be more traditional, so they have something to be angry about. So then they can say, look, she is so dangerous. She is so alt right and she is oppressing women. They want that image of me. so that they can rip into me for their own agenda. It's already exhausting on the small scale that I experience it. And so I cannot imagine the weight that Nara feels, being one of literally the most famous influential creators on the internet, and constantly over the last 3 years, having to talk about this and clarify who she is and define what she does for people because they are so hell bent on misunderstanding her for their own agenda. It is so ridiculous. Like I am exhausted for her. Just talking about this. And like at the end of the day, the only people who should be deciding these things about her life and her marriage and her children are her and her husband. And if it works for them, that's great. Somebody commented and said, this is why I say the only opinions that matter is your husband. The rest of the people who place labels on strangers do not matter. Literally. That is how I feel. At the end of the day, if my marriage is healthy, if my husband is happy, if we both feel respected and happy, if our child is taken care of and thriving, that is all that matters. If Alex loves videos that I do, if he is proud of me, if he's excited about the things that I'm doing and I'm excited about the work that he is doing, then I'm happy. That's all that matters. Pat Stedman over on X made a similar point under one of these posts about Nara. And he said, what matters is that the couple is on the same trajectory together, building together and growing together. The details of who does what and when can and should be decided internally for each couple. Leverage strengths while respecting healthy polarity, everyone is more fulfilled that way. I mean, what a shocking notion that living in the real world and figuring out your life with your individual spouse is more fulfilling than desperately trying to fit yourself into a box that you see online. And to internalize this even more and to take it a step further, what I would say is that I have a very clear set of values and things that I want to prioritize in my life. I have things that I think are really important that can make or break a marriage based on what I saw with my parents. I have things that I think my parents did really well with my brothers and I that we want to emulate. We have these things that we really value and we prioritize, and you have to apply them to reality because life is complex. Life has challenges. You are never going to fit in the cookie cutter, perfect ideal marriage, and family because life can change in an instant. I saw my mom have to navigate applying her values and raise us in the way that she wanted to raise us after losing her 1st husband to brain cancer after going through a divorce with my father after losing my brother after another brother becoming schizophrenic. Meanwhile, she was trying to hold our family together and raise us in a traditional household with good values while the rest of the world was crumbling. It was far from perfect. We are not the picture perfect traditional family. She was the breadwinner, all of these things. And yet, I think I still turned out. okay. I still have these values. You just have to apply them to reality. You cannot expect to always fit into one of these perfect boxes, and it is so disingenuous from the outside to look at somebody and to try to apply that box to them so that you can use them as a means to your end. That is what is so wrong. Anyway, I think that that is a good segue back to Nara. You know, from my POV, and you guys probably know this if you've watched me for a while, but I have always maintained in regards to Norris Smith, and I love her content, not because it inspires me in my traditional values or my, like, homemaker wife stay at home mom journey, whatever it is, or because she affirmed my political values, but because it was hilarious. It's over the top. It's beautiful. It's wholesome. The things that she cooks are remarkable. It's things that I have not even attempted to cook in my home kitchen. And I also love the way that she treats and adores and speaks about her husband. I love the way that she naturally champions motherhood and rejects the left's attempts to villainize every part of her life and villainize choice feminism. I also love that very naturally. She has highlighted being a young married woman on a huge global scale and has done it so effortlessly and beautifully. And that right there, in my opinion, is why so many women hate her. One person commented and said, Nara becoming the face of it to so many feminists betrayed what they're actually angry about when it comes to Trad Wives, which is a woman who seemingly has everything they want and also has children. They don't want to see you thriving with children. And deep down, I think that that is very spot on. And they really can't explain that. They can't explain why it makes them feel so bitter or less than. So instead, they decide to assign this label to her of TradWife so that they don't have to go any deeper. This word now is so confused and misused. It's so widespread and infamous on social media that it does the work for them. They can just say, Tradwife, it's dangerous. It's alt right, it's backwards. It's harmful. That is how they want her to be perceived so that their anger, their personal dissatisfaction in their lives, in their choices can be validated by the rest of society. And I'm also so sorry that Nara Smith feels like she has to stoop to their level, or honestly, to call her daddy's level. Like, I don't think you should have to go on there and once again clarify and explain your personal choices. You don't have to do that. And moving forward, I don't think you should, because that only gives them more power. They can tell that it is making you angry. They can tell that it is impacting you and that only feeds them more. They are committed in their hatred and their jealousy. You should just move on, and that's my personal take. Max, I am once again in my pajamas. But what's new? All right