Candace Owens — Women Marching In America Again? What a JOKE.

Back in 2017, I had no clue what women were marching about in this country. The year is now 2018. I still have no clue what women are marching about in this country. My name is Candace Owens, and you are watching. Whose march is it anyways? What would have to be going on in your country to make you dress like a vagina and wear a pink pussy hat on your head? If this question just dumped you, then you were literally me this past weekend trying to figure out what the heck these women are marching about and why the heck they insist on wearing a pussy hat on their heads.

Some people criticize the movement as being unintellectual and that's not fair. If these women weren't smart, then why are they carrying around signs of wisdom like, F you, you, effing F? Hmm, that's not helping anybody. Let's switch gears. So what? Maybe they aren't the most eloquent signs. Don't let that distract from the message of their oppression. I mean, last year, Madonna thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House.

Clearly, there is something wrong with our government and the way that it treats woman. I mean, why else would she threaten to blow up the White House? It's not like Madonna is some crazy has been pop star who's desperate for relevance or anything. We love Madonna. F you, you effing F. Calm down. Let's just try to look at this objectively. I don't think we should blow up the White House because factually speaking, President Trump has elected more women to high ranking in cabinet positions than any president in the history of the United States.

Huh? Don't let that discourage you. Maybe there's other stuff we can threaten to blow up. I'd stay away from the colleges and universities too, though, because factually speaking, women are graduating in much higher numbers than men. They also account for the majority of business startups, stay away from there, and we're far less likely to commit crimes, go to prison or commit suicide. Whose march is this again? If discouragement is beginning to settle in.

I want you to know that there are actual woman causes that you can lend your voice to overseas. For example, in Iran, or in Saudi Arabia, where women are actually oppressed, where women face fines and beatings for showing their hair, where women just got the right to drive, because driving unsupervised may have led to them coming into contact with unrelated men, where there is actually gender segregation, where women cannot swim in pools that are available to men, where they must not showcase their beauty whatsoever, and where they have male guardians that dictate what they can.

and cannot do, like, travel. That reminds me of that law in America where women are not allowed to, oh, wait, there is no law in America where women are not allowed to. We're actually allowed to do anything we want, including making a video, skewing, a bunch of women who are complaining about absolutely nothing. So I will ask again, whose march is it anyways? Woman of America. Or the women who are fighting for their freedom in Islamic territories.

Thank you guys so much for watching.